Mom Shaming

Recently there was a big to-do in the news about Meghan Markle and how she was holding her baby.
Granted, it did look a little awkward, but she is a new mom trying to find her mojo.

It's not easy for any new parent, so the last thing anyone needs is someone coming in and saying that you are doing it all wrong... because guess what... what worked for someone might not be the solution for everyone.

We need to stop this shaming people because they are doing this or that... it's obnoxious.  If you want to give helpful, not hurtful advice that is one thing... but maybe wait for it to be asked of you because everyone needs guidance sometimes, but be respectful and think would you want someone saying what you said to you?

It's very overwhelming bringing home that first child.  We as a society need to stop adding to that pressure, whether the person is a celebrity or not, it's a lot... your body just went through a lot to birth the child and your mentally and physically exhausted.  No one in that state needs to hear how she is dressing her kid is wrong or holding her kid is wrong.

The key things are, is the baby healthy?  Is the baby happy?  Is the baby safe and content?
If the answers are yes, then there is no need to interfere and add your two sense.

Just like this whole thing too with Jessica Simpson and Pink and their children getting their hair dyed "at such a young age."  Out of everything that a child could do - this is not a big one... could it damage the hair - yes, but so could swimming in a pool or blow drying...

I had two C-Sections.  Some people look down on that - that I didn't get the full birthing experience.  Let me tell you, I have heard about some of the horror stories that goes along with birthing a child, and I am ok with the way my children came into this world.

They are no less healthy or happy than a child that got shot out the ole birthing canal.  And me, well I have some serious scars, but I don't have to worry about peeing my pants when I sneeze, so I'll call it a win.

Be helpful not hurtful... we have gone astray from this... time to fix things.

Gun Violence

I have written a few times over on Musings about my personal opinions on Guns and these mass shootings that seem to keep happening.

I am going to start off again by saying, I don't want to take anyone's guns away from them... I don't want the government knocking on doors and collecting them search and seizure style.  And I also realize a lot of really bad people get guns in an illegal fashion. 

What I cannot for the life of me figure out though is why this magazine clips that can hold more bullets than any homeowner enthusiast would need for home protection or just weekend shooting at the gun range need... Why is this such a hot button issue?  How is this not a common sense thing - everyday Joe's don't need a magazine that holds a hundred bullets.

Why can't there be a 36 - 72 hour waiting period before a gun is given to someone?  To make sure that they don't have a criminal history.  Why can't a mental evaluation be given before someone buys a gun?    To guarantee the person is mentally stable for the responsibilities that come along with having a gun...

That's actually it, right?  Gun ownership comes with great responsibilities and if you don't take them seriously the outcome is detrimental. 

We as a nation need to stop putting blame on one side of the aisle or the other.  We need to stop blaming video games, because let's be honest here, that's not the problem.  We need to stop blaming other people for our life mishaps.  We need to stop bullying people because they are different than us.  We need to come together and stop this violence that keeps happening within our own boarders.  We need to provide adequate mental health hospitals to people that need it. We need to stop making excuses.

We need to do better for these people. 

Hot Cars

The other day the husband posted this on social media... Every year you hear about the tragic death(s) of a child or multiple children left in hot cars because their parents forgot about them.

I understand being so exhausted that you don't even know if you put on clothes or are still in your pajamas and I even understand the child falling asleep in the backseat during the drive, what I cannot comprehend is the forgetting the child.

Do you not check the rear view mirror at all and see the baby in the car seat (and yes, I know rear-facing car seats make it more difficult to see the child) but seeing the car seat might jog the memory - or do you not look into your car and make sure all the windows are up and your car is locked (maybe I am the only one that does that while saying aloud "Car is locked" so I remember.)

What get's me even more are these parents who leave their children in a locked car in the middle of summer, but leave the air conditioning on while they go into a bar or night club or whatever the place is to have fun while their child is alone at night in the parking lot... and they think it is OKAY for this to happen just because they left the car running.

This is a problem.

Many, many years ago, I went to the mall and when I was putting the items in my trunk I just happened to look into the car parked next to me... there was a baby in the car.  Thank goodness it wasn't a hot summer day, which only makes the situation a little better... I ran back into the store and got the manager to call the police.

I understand that taking a baby ANYWHERE is a lot of work, the baby bag, the stroller or just carrying that heavy car seat carrier around, the trying to change a diaper in a public restroom or feeding the baby... You want to go out and have fun - you don't leave your baby anywhere by itself.

I don't know what the solution should be... maybe OBGYNs making parents go to some kind of class for parenting - how to change a diaper, how not to leave your kid in a sweltering hot car.  Eh, the people that need that class probably wouldn't go anyway... Write a damn note and tape it to your keys that says 'kid in back' or something if you are too tired...

People are selfish, having a child means putting that child before you...  If you can't put another's life and needs before yours, then maybe you shouldn't be a parent.